A Hideous Beauty
by Celtic Queen of Night
Summary: PewDieCry slash Highschool AU. Ryan has always worn a mask, ever since he was a kid. He's never allowed anyone to see his face. When the new student Felix takes an interest in the masked boy, he goes on the defense. But Felix is determined to uncover Cry's mystery, no matter the challenge. Rating: T for some mature content and dark themes. Contains some age appropriate Cry x OC.
1. Chapter 1

**/Author's Note: Greetings, we bring you our first chapter story./**

Chapter 1- Foreign Boy

 _Ryan's Point of View-_

The first thing I see when opening my eyes that morning is a raven perched on a branch on the tree outside my window, it's eyes seemingly staring straight through me.

What comes to mind when looking at it is the symbolic meaning behind that particular bird, something I read in one of the many bird books I have collected from my bird watching hobby.

 _The Raven is a teacher, or a reminder of God's love._

According to lore, catching it's eye conveys that a lesson will be taught, and the person on the receiving end will be tested. Of course, I didn't believe all that superstitious nonsense, but something about the way the bird was staring me gave me a sense of dread.

Feeling uneasy, I had the urge to cover my head with my comforter and go back to bed, skipping school for the day. But, feigning being sick wouldn't work as an excuse on my perceptive mother, she would notice right away that I was lying.

Simply telling her I had a bad feeling would probably work, but it would only cause her to worry. She had enough on her plate with having to work overtime to support us without me adding onto it.

Deciding to suck it up, I groaned and pulled myself out of bed, ignoring the bird's intense stare boring into me as I got ready for the day to come, dreading it already.

* * *

Heading into my classroom, I took my seat in the far back beside the window, draping my bag across the back of the chair. I was the last person inside, and everyone had gone quiet as soon as I had entered the room, still silently staring at me.

It was the type of silence that was somehow loud and unbearable for others to be in for too long. This was nothing unusual, it happened every day, but I didn't really care if they liked me or not.

They avoided me like the plague, and whether out of fear or disgust didn't bother me. The feeling of distrust was mutual.

My mom once asked me if I felt lonely, since I didn't really spend time with friends and decided to stay home and read or work a part-time job instead. I told her no, not really, and it was the truth. I just left out the part of me not having any friends to begin with, so it wasn't much of a choice.

I rather be alone anyway. I never saw the appeal of having 'friends' who would just talk shit about you behind your back, and that is the only type of friendship one can have here at this stuck-up school.

One wouldn't think men could be like that, but here they are all so self-absorbed and so full of themselves. And the girls were no better, their personalities were dull and petty with no regard for people who they saw as 'less than' them.

If everyone was fake to your face and rude behind your back, then I rather be alone.

I was too caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice the door to the classroom opening and closing, when the teacher started speaking. I didn't bother to face forward to see the teacher talking, deciding to just look out the window and listen in.

"Alright, listen up. I'd like to introduce a new student who is joining us. Introduce yourself to the class, and say a little something about yourself."

"Hello, my name is Felix Kjellberg. I was originally born in a small town in Sweden, but had lived in the UK for the past 3 years." There was a small pause before he added with a smile in his voice, "I hope we can all be good friends."

'Huh, so the guy's a foreigner. Must be nice, being to different countries. If I remember correctly, the national bird of Sweden is the Blackbird Turdus Merula, or the common Blackbird. Though, of course, since he is a Swede he would know it as the Koltrast.'

I was too absorbed by my thoughts that I didn't notice anything different until I heard a new accented voice speaking to me.

"Could I sit next to you?" Turning my head, I looked up and into the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. They seemed to sparkle, like sunlight dancing on ice. The kind of pale blue that reminds me of the Eastern Bluebird in snow, their feathers a soft and delicate sky blue against the blank sheet of crystalized water.

I could only nod in answer, my throat suddenly tight with the urge to ask if I could photograph his eyes to later paint a picture of a bluebird using that as reference. I slowly and unwillingly looked away to again stare out the window, glad he can't see how captivated I was by his light colored irises.

I heard a quiet thanks before I heard the chair beside mine move as the new guy sat down. It was strange, someone speaking to me directly and as if I were a human being, and not treated like dirt or some strange mystery that scares and intimidates people.

Strange, rare even, but not entirely unwelcome as it was a nice change of pace. Perhaps it's because he's new, and hasn't yet grown to like or dislike anyone. Maybe, but I like to think he was genuinely a nice person, or maybe blind at least.

Can't be intimidated by someone scary looking if you can't see.

* * *

Even with the strange urge to take a picture of some guy's eyes, the class period passed by rather quickly. As soon as the bell rang for lunch, everyone naturally gravitated toward the handsome foreign student, asking him questions of his interests and hobbies, the clubs he was interested in, and what his home country was like.

And of course, the girls did what they always do toward good looking guys: giggle and blush, looking for attention from the fresh piece of meat put up on the market. I got up and, grabbing my lunch, quickly made my way out of the classroom and to the roof where I usually ate my lunch.

No one ever ate there, since I was the only one who had a copy of the key. The school nurse is pretty nice and understanding, so she got me a copy so I wouldn't have to eat in the classroom. She said she wouldn't mind me eating lunch in there with her, but I rather not intrude on her private time.

Sitting down on the roof floor against the fence, I sighed heavily and opened my bento. My mother use to make my lunch until I decided to learn to cook. I wanted to be more self sufficient and independent, even if just a little.

When opening my bento, I heard the door to the roof open and close behind someone, and realized with a sense of dread that I had forgotten to lock it behind me. I drew my knees closer to my chest, hoping that if I became small enough I would suddenly disappear or become invisible.

Unfortunately for me, neither of those things happened, and I heard someone walk toward me, coming to a stop before asking, "Hey, mind if I sit here with you?"

Glancing up, I saw the new student from class looking down at me with an expression that could only be interpreted as curiosity. He didn't appear to be hostile, and sounded nice enough. That didn't mean I should trust him, but I'd bite and remain neutral for the time being.

"Sure." I answered cooly, having decided that it couldn't hurt to let him sit with me. I would just remember to lock the door tomorrow, so he wouldn't be able to get in.

He grinned a Cheshire-cat smile and said, "Thanks bro." Then sat down right next to me, too close for comfort.

"You don't need to sit so close." I stated, picking up my bento and beginning to eat. His eyes were twinkling with held-back laughter as he kept smiling and answered back, "You looked lonely sitting by yourself, so I wanted to cheer you up."

"Not really." I looked intently at this strange foreign student, asking curiously, "Why do you think that?"

"You had that look, bro. The look that says _'I wish people would like me'._ I wanted to make friends with you." Getting up, he again smiled widely and held out his hand as if offering it, saying, "So, what about it? Wanna be friends?"

Ah, this again. This feeling of being pitied, and seen as someone who needed free hand outs. The nerve of this guy. Slapping his hand away, I boxed up my bento and got up, saying coldly, "You seem to have read me wrong. I have no intention of becoming friends with you, or anyone else for that matter."

Walking away, I couldn't help but wave over my shoulder at him and saying sarcastically, "See ya, _'bro'._ "

 **/AN: This is the end of the chapter. R &R giving your feedback, helpful criticism is welcome. Enjoy your day./**


	2. Chapter 2

**/AN: We have returned with a second chapter./**

Chapter 2- Masked Mystery

 _Felix's Point of View:_

Walking into the classroom, I could feel every single students' eyes on me. It wasn't anything new, I was use to this sort of attention with having moved around a lot. I was use to being the exciting new kid.

Looking around at the new faces, my eye caught a boy in the back looking out the window, staring off at something else. He was the only one who was not paying attention to me, which was strange and oddly made me curious. Was he maybe one of those 'bad boy' characters you hear about in movies and books?

After introducing myself, I walked down the aisle to the desk next to him. When he still didn't notice me, I cleared my throat and asked, "Could I sit next to you?" He finally turned his head to look at me and I was startled to find I couldn't see his face.

He was wearing a white poker-faced mask that made it impossible to see his facial features, not even his eye color was visible. He seemed to be staring at me, assessing me for a long time before nodding his head curtly, saying in a muffled yet deep, smooth voice, "Sure."

Then he slowly turned his head away from me to once again look out the window. Sitting down in the seat next to him, I couldn't help but sneak sidelong glances at him every chance I got. This boy was like no other I had ever come across.

His cool, mysterious aura was so appealing, it made me want to learn more about him. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to pursue a friendship with someone outside of social acceptance. And that someone was this mysterious boy.

* * *

I planned on asking the masked guy during lunch break if I could sit with him, but I was suddenly surrounded by the other students and being bombarded with questions and new fangirls. I smiled and answered all of them with as much friendliness as I could, but was heavily distracted with thoughts of the stand-offish student.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye the guy getting up and leaving out the door. In a hurry, I smiled and apologized, making a quick excuse to leave before grabbing my lunch and following suit.

Seeing him head down the hall and up the stairs, I curiously followed behind, but made sure to stay out of site. I didn't want him to catch me and tell me to leave him be, which seems to be his personality from appearance.

I peaked around the corner and saw him fish a key out of his dark green jumper pocket, turn it in the door and head to what looked like the roof. Pausing for a moment, I headed up myself and opened the door, looking around for the masked boy.

I spotted him in the corner, his knees scrunched up to his chest which gave him the appearance of wanting to become smaller. Heading over, I smiled my most friendly smile down at him and asked, "Hey, mind if I sit here?"

He looked up at me and, after a moment, said in that muffled, deep voice of his, "Sure."

I grinned. Perfect. "Thanks Bro." I then sat down next to him, happy that he let me sit with him.

He shifted next to me, apparently uncomfortable with my shoulder touching his. "You don't need to sit so close." He said matter-of-factly, picking up his lunch and taking a bite of... whatever that was, it looked good.

His cool, to-the-point personality made me want to be honest with him, so I just smiled and said, "You looked lonely sitting by yourself, so I wanted to cheer you up."

I winced mentally when I realized how kinda mean that sounded, and was going to backtrack and apologize when he said, "Not really." I was relieved to hear he didn't sound offended by what I said, I definitely didn't want that.

The guy then looked at me and tilted his head, asking, "Why would you think that?"

"You had that look, Bro." I said, deciding to be honest. "The look that said _'I wish people would like me.'_ I wanted to be your friend." It wasn't his face that gave me that impression, but his body posture and the way he acts so much like a loner.

I got up and grinned down at him reassuringly, holding out my hand to him while saying, "So, what about it? Wanna be friends?"

At this, his demeanor seemed to grow cold as he slapped my hand away, grabbing his lunch and saying rather harshly, "You seem to have read me wrong. I have no intention of becoming friends with you, or anyone else for that matter."

As he walked away, he waved over his shoulder and said sarcastically, "See ya, _'bro'_." before slamming the door shut behind him on his way out.

I stood there, shocked and a bit puzzled by what just happened. He got offended, but only when I asked him if he wanted to be friends. What did he have against being friends?

This was gonna be harder than I thought.

 **/AN: We'll be going on vacation for 10 days-2 weeks. We may or may not be able to update this story during that time./**


	3. Chapter 3

**/AN: We've finally gotten the chance to update this story, we apologize for the wait.  
** **And to the guest reviewer called "somebody", we thank you for your kind review. And to answer your concerns, we agree wholeheartedly.  
We prefer keeping this as realistic with the character development a possible. We won't rush this story./**

Chapter 3- Bad Reputation

 _Ryan's Point of View:_

The rest of the school day passed rather quickly, and before I knew it the bell rang for classes to end. Getting up, I grabbed my bag and made my way out the door. The other student usually used their lockers, but I was rather fond of the Japanese way of keeping your bag with you in the classroom.

Nobody has ever corrected me for it, but that is mostly for their being uncomfortable around me, let alone speaking to me.

I was heading out the back door of the school when I saw the new kid outside, being cornered by a few of the upperclassmen who considered themselves 'tough guys' here. I wondered what he did to get called out by them.

The leader jabbed the blonde in the shoulder, glaring as he said, "You got some nerve, making moves on my girlfriend."

I saw the foreign student hold his hands up in surrender, saying nervously, "I was just asking her for directions, not asking her on a date or anythi-"

"Cut the bullshit already!" The leader snarled, glaring at the blue-eyed boy. "Just admit it."

I knew that look of intimidation they used when they were putting someone in their place. This could turn out ugly real quick if the new guy said anything that could piss off the group of hostile upperclassmen.

I sighed. I had a sinking feeling that the guy was probably gonna say something stupid, whether unintentionally or not. I really didn't wanna get involved, especially not after what happened on the rooftop.

But, I also didn't want him to get his ass kicked on his first day of school here either.

Making my way over, I placed a hand on the instigator's shoulder and said cooly, "The kid wasn't hitting on your girlfriend. So, do yourself a favor, and _step off_."

He quickly turned his attention on me, ready to throw my hand off before his eyes went wide at the sight of me, going cold and stiff under my touch and gaze. I could feel him slightly quiver in fear before putting on a fake bravo and sneering, "Back off pal, I wasn't talking to you."

Staring at him silently, his body started to noticeably shake and his two friends went still as I turned my look on them, saying slowly and in warning, "I _suggest_ you go home now."

My reputation in school wasn't exactly a bad one, but not good either. Because of my.. appearance, people already assumed I was bad news. But the way I acted scared them too. The nurse had kindly, but honestly mentioned it makes students feel ' _wary and distrustful_ '.

I knew that was just code for me being ' _scary and not to be messed with_ '. I don't know why people never question the rumors involving me, but I just take it in stride and make good out of the situation. It works to my advantage at times.

It comes in handy in these type of situations, because it was obvious by their looks they already knew who I was based off of said rumors. So, when I slightly squeezed the leader's shoulder and let go, it didn't surprise me that they all backed off instantly.

"W-whatever." He said shakily, trying to keep his cool. "I have better things to do anyway." With that, they dispersed quickly, leaving me and the new guy behind.

Sighing, I turned to leave, not wanting to hear any mushy "Thanks", or worse, him feeling like he owes me for this. I rather not stick around to chat.

"H-hey, wait!" The guy called, hearing his footsteps approaching me fast to catch up with me. "W-why did you help me? I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you." I said over my shoulder, walking a bit faster toward the fence behind the school, hoping he would just leave me be.

"Could have fooled me." He said quietly, making me sigh and come to a stop. Turning around, I looked slightly down at him and said, "I don't hate you. But that doesn't mean I like you either."

"Why would you help me then?"

I was quiet for a moment, staring at him intently as I pondered why he would ask me that. "...Just because I don't like you, it doesn't make me a monster. I have a heart."

He seemed surprised by my answer, which stung a bit, before he smiled wide and said, "Those guys looked like they were scared shitless by you. You must have done something before to have made them run with their tails between their legs."

"Believe me, just existing is enough for them to fear me." I muttered bitterly before I could stop myself. He looked at me strangely at my answer, so I pierced my lips and turned around to climb over the fence."

"Wait, why are we going this way?" He asked in surprise.

" _We_ aren't going this way." I said coldly without looking at him. _"I am._ Now, leave."Swinging my other leg over the fence, I leaped down only to see the new guy trying to mimic my movements, slowly climbing the fence as well.

Seeing him struggle to pull himself over, I sighed and grasped his waist, pulling him carefully over to my side, gently but firmly setting him to the ground. "Why are you following me?"

Getting over his momentary shock, the guy said sheepishly, "Honestly, I don't know how to get back to my house. Do you think you could help point me in the right direction?"

 _Great. Not only did he nearly get his ass handed to him, but now he's lost and doesn't know how to get home. I feel like a damn babysitter. Why did I have to bother?_

Looking into his eyes did nothing to help. They were so beautiful and worried it sent a twinge to my heart, squeezing my chest uncomfortably with the urge to capture that color and expression.

"Alright, fine." I conceded, "I'll bring you home. What's the address?"

Fumbling around, he pulled a scrap piece of paper out of his red jacket pocket and handed it to me. Looking at it once, I knew exactly where his house was, and was surprised. With pierced lips I nodded and, without a word, turned and started walking.

 ** _/We owe about 3 chapters, and that is what we will give you. Three chapters./_**


	4. Chapter 4

**/Another chapter for you./**

Chapter 4- On the Way Home

 _Felix's Point of View:_

The silence between us was almost deafening, the only sound being made our footsteps- well, more like just mine. For such a tall guy, he was certainly quiet, even his feet didn't make a peep on the ground.

The sudden "What?" he asked made me jump. It wasn't like he yelled it or anything, in fact his voice was like a murmur. But, it was loud compared to the previous silence, it threw me off guard.

"U-um, I was wondering... Why did you get mad at me earlier? I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

It was quiet again, but I could have swore I heard him take a sharp breathe before answering slowly, "Suggesting I was some... lonely dog, who was practically begging for people to like me. News flash, I don't _need_ friends, and I definitely don't _want_ them either."

"Wait, that's not what I meant! I mean, everyone gets lonely sometimes, and everyone needs a friend. I didn't mean to sound like such a dick about it."

"...I'm not lonely." He said quietly, "And, friends aren't for me."

"What do you mean?" I asked incredulously, "Of course friends are needed! I just wanted to make friends with you."

"No, you just want to pretend to be friends so you can feel better about yourself. Then, when you gather more so called 'friends', you can leave it just like that. I won't be your social ladder."

"Oh god no!" I said, feeling honestly baffled at his connection to such a mean thing. "I wouldn't do that to you, or anyone! I just really wanna get to know you. Honestly, I don't have many friends at all."

"The keyword there is _many_. You don't have _many_ friends, but you still _have_ them."

It was silent again. These things he was saying... _maybe he needs me to be completely honest, and he'd come to respect me over time? Maybe if I share a bit about myself, he'll open up more._

"They aren't really friends, so much as ' _people who wanted to use me_ '.

That seemed to have gotten his attention, because he froze in place and turned to look at me, murmuring slowly, "What do you mean?"

I shifted uncomfortably, not really wanting to share this information, but wanting to be friends with him more than keeping things secret, so I said quietly, "My family... we were rich, at one point. But when we went bankrupt, my friends stopped talking with me as much and started making up excuses not to hang out with me. Eventually, they stopped talking to me all together. That's why we moved here, to get away from the reminders. And, well, I wasn't like them anymore. Someone with money and power. I guess when left with just me and no social status, no one cares."

It was silent again, and I was beginning to wonder if I should say something before he said bluntly, "Get over yourself."

"W-wha-"

"Now you know the truth; people are selfish, social creatures. You think you know them, when in fact you don't." He turned around and started walking again, continuing, "It's human nature to be two-faced. The only _friend_ you really ever know is yourself, don't ever forget that."

The air seemed to grow cold with those words hanging in it. He said all that so easily as if it were a fact, a cold hard fact. ...why is he so, distrustful and distant from everyone?

Glancing at me, catching me staring at him, he asked, "What's with that look?"

"...is that your only friend? Yourself?"

He chose not to answer, instead continuing to walk ahead, making me move my feet to catch up with him.

I was about to say something when he interrupted, saying, "We've arrived."

Looking at the familiar house, I nodded in thanks and started up the stairs. I turned to say a proper thank you, but he was already gone.

* * *

I kicked open my bedroom door with a sigh, flopping down on my bed and stuffing my face against my pillow, groaning into it.

Today was a long and stressful day. I just wanted to sleep and forget about it. Turning my head, I looked out the window of my new room and saw a bird near the tree outside.

 _Huh, what a pretty birdie. It must be a hummingbird with how fast its flapping its wings and how long and thin its beak is. It has such cool colors._

Glancing around outside, I caught a pair of eyes looking at the same bird, freezing. _No, that can't be..._

 _Getting up, I made my way to the window and confirm my_ _suspicion._ And, low and behold, it was him. The boy in the mask. Right next door. Across my room, even.

He seemed to be... smiling? His mask was lifted just enough to make out his mouth, lips curved upward as he smiled at the bird, his hand holding a pencil and his arms cradling what seemed to be a sketch book.

 _He looks so peaceful._ I noted, watching him in wonder. It was strange, seeing any part of his face. I only knew him for a day, but I knew this was something rare to see.

He turned around, the back of his head to me as he seemed to be talking with someone. Maybe a sibling or a parent? I didn't get a chance to see, because the next moment he left, leaving the room empty.

At least now I know I'll have plenty of chances to change his mind about friendship. I mean, we live right across from each other. How hard could making a friend possibly be?


	5. Chapter 5

**/AN: Another chapter. Enjoy./**

Chapter 5- Guests

 _Ryan's Point of View:_

Walking in the door, I could tell right away by the shoes already sitting by the entrance that my mother was home. Kicking off my own, I placed them beside hers and walked into the kitchen.

Sitting my bag down on a chair, I glanced over at my mom sitting across the table doing some sort of paperwork. "You're home early." I commented, noticing from her profile the bags underneath her eyes.

She looked up and smiled at me, "I got off early is all."

I stared at her for a moment, and came to my conclusion, "You got fired again, didn't you."

She sighed, laughing a little, "I never could hide anything from you, huh? Yeah, I did. Sorry, I really thought this was the right job for me. But it was just like everywhere else I worked."

I chose not to say anything about that, though there was a lot I could have. I could've said not to worry, there were tons of other more decent jobs out there for her. Or mention how those men she worked with were selfish pigs who only saw women as sex objects, so it wouldn't have worked out anyhow.

My mother is a proud woman, someone who doesn't take bullshit from others, and likes to do things independently. Of course sexual harassment won't be tolerated by her, so she ends up getting fired.

It makes no sense; she's the victim. But when she stands up for herself, she is seen as the danger. Isn't there suppose to be a no-sexual-harassment policy? Obviously, in some places it is utterly bogus.

Since they "technically" didn't do anything, they got away with it. Don't they have anything better to do with their time than harass others? Selfish, arrogant people who treat others as objects turn my stomach.

My mother raised me since my father died when I was 4. A poor single mom had done a better job raising me than some parents who have the funds to live comfortably. She has more balls than anyone I know.

She's the only one I need in my life. The only one I care about.

"I'll pick up a job for after school, work everyday, and keep working weekends. At least until you find a suitable job." Tilting my mask up, I moved around the table and leaned down to kiss her forehead, grasping her hand and saying quietly, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you Ma."

Mom just smiled, "You're too good to me, Ryan." Squeezing my hand once in comfort, she let go and turned back to her paperwork, which I now noticed as job application forms.

I was just grabbing an apple before deciding to head upstairs to start my homework, when I heard my mother's 'Oh yeah, I almost forgot' sound, and turned back to her.

"Ryan, do you mind if I help make dinner tonight? I know it's your turn to do it, but I'm having an old friend and her family over to join us."

"Fine by me." I shrugged, "It's your kitchen, who am I to stop you?"

She rolled her eyes, looking like she would have _papped(1)_ me for that comment if she wasn't out of reach to do so. "Very funny. But this is great, I haven't seen her in years! I hear she's married now and has two children. Maybe one of them is around your age, so you can make a new friend."

I found it difficult to suppress the groan of annoyance at the idea. _Friends_ , I scoffed mentally. I don't need them.

As soon as I was in my room, I sat my bag down and sat at my desk, sighing as I opened up my textbook. My mind was a bit too preoccupied though, to really concentrate on the homework assignment. Glancing out the window, I noticed a particular bird fluttering about the tree, and I couldn't help smiling widely at the sight.

 _A hummingbird. Such beautiful form and color... I want to draw it._

Whenever I see something I want to draw or paint, my hand starts twitching, and my excitement is hard to contain. Those urges hardly ever happen in school, until today that is. That guy's eyes are such a wonderful shade of blue.

Quickly taking out my sketch book and a drawing utensil, I set to work on drawing the pretty little bird, remembering the meaning behind this particular one.

 _The hummingbird symbolizes an optimistic approach to life, and it reflects on the gentleness of the individual. It also stands for devotion and spiritual awareness of the individual, while also being symbolic of joy and the stopper of time._

I pondered that meaning, wondering who this bird was seeking out for this message. Shaking my head, I couldn't help but laugh a little at that. As if birds have that sort of power, to deliver a person's fate. It's ridiculous, but I can't help but wonder about it. You never really know.

Hearing a familiar knock on my door, I looked up to see my mother coming in.

"Ryan, can you take out the trash, then wash your hands and help start dinner?"

"Sure, I'll be right down."

Putting away my pencil, I gently sat down my sketch book then headed downstairs to take care of that. Ma must be excited about seeing her old friend, which I'm glad about. She should spend some time with her girlfriends, to keep her spirit up.

* * *

"Oh Johanna, it's been so long!"

"It has Anne, it really has!"

As the mothers hugged and laughed merrily with their reunion, I was fixated on the son.

I should have known it would be this guy. How many people ever move to a small town like this often?

"Anne, this is my husband Ulf, eldest daughter Fanny, and my youngest son Felix."

My mother smiled, shaking their hands. "Pleasure to meet you all." Turning to me, her smile widened as she pushed me forward. "This is my son, Ryan."

I grudgingly shook their hands, trying to remain polite, even as Felix's mother hugged me.

"I remember him, but he was such a tiny little thing! I was still pregnant with little Feli here at that time, before I moved back to Sweden."

I was more surprised that she didn't say anything about my mask. Almost everyone either mentioned it, or looked at me weirdly. She just kind of took it as fact, or she is good at hiding discomfort. Her husband on the other hand was giving me a curious look, but also didn't say anything.

"Well come on in! Dinner will be served in a minute, so make yourselves at home."

 _ **/AN:**_

 _ **1\. Papped- Affectionatly slapping someone in a way that is more of a pat; a playful slap**_

 _ **Hope you enjoyed./**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**/AN: We're back with another chapter. Hope you enjoy./**_

Chapter 6- Dinner

 _Felix's Point of View:_

Dinner at the Terry's was lively. Everyone was talking and enjoying themselves, and when one of my parents or his mother asked me a question I tried to answer.

All except the masked mystery, who I learned is named Ryan, still has yet to join in. Sure, my mother asked him the odd question here and there, but he always gave a quick polite yet cool answer before returning to eating his food quietly.

And of course we were sitting next to each other. I could easily start up a conversation, but I was struggling to think of a topic outside of school and "How come you don't want any friends?"

Yeah, that wouldn't bode well for this guy, I was sure of it. I couldn't help but sneak glances at him every so often, hoping he would perhaps make some sort of small talk or even give me a brief glace as well.

But he only focuses his gaze on the table, avoiding eye contact, and I felt a stab of frustration at it. I know it's irrational to be mad at someone who obviously doesn't want to talk to you, it's their right, but he could at least try to get to know me before deciding to hate my guts.

"So Felix, have you seen Ryan during school at all? You're in the same grade, so I was wondering."

Glancing at Ryan, I smiled briefly and answered, "Yes. In fact, we're in the same class."

"Is that so?" She said, giving Ryan a look that I noticed made him go still. "I'm sure my son will help you with anything you need, like directions or being introduced to other students. Isn't that right Ryan?"

The masked boy gave a curt nod, which I could tell by his character was forced to keep the topic civilized. I could of swore I saw her give a small victory smile before taking a bite of her food.

I must have been the only one to noticed, since my parents and sister didn't give any indication of having seen it. I proceeded to eat the rest of my food in silence.

"Anne, this food is delicious!" My mother commented. "You must tell me your cooking secrets sometime."

"You mean my son's cooking secrets." Anne said, grinning proudly. "He's the real wiz in the kitchen, looking up new and exciting recipes to try out and perfect."

That was surprising. I made a mental note to use that as a possible conversation topic for another time. He really is a mystery, and any bit of info helps to uncover those secrets.

"Really?" My mother looked at him and winked. "A man that can cook is a woman's dream ya know. I'm sure the girls will love it."

"Thank you. May I be excused, Mother?" Ryan said quietly, sounding a bit embarrassed. I noticed the tips of his ears were a bit red. Was he blushing?

"Of course. Since Felix seems to be finished, why don't you both go up to your room? Get to know each other."

Looking down, I noticed my plate of empty, and felt more than saw his obvious dislike of the idea. I was half expecting for him to make some sort of excuse as to why that was a bad idea, but was again surprised by him.

"Alright."

Getting up, he quickly picked up both our plates and placed them in the sink, then began up the stairs as I uncertainly followed him.

* * *

His room was a surprise. Every inch of wall was covered with well-done paintings and on his walls were what looked like decals carefully and intricately done. It was all so vibrantly alive with detail and color it took my breathe away.

"Where did you get these paintings and wall decals?" I asked, admiring. "Can I get the artist's name? I'm sure it's some sort of big shot professional with this kind of work."

"Oh, uh, I didn't get them anywhere. I made them myself." He sounded surprised by my asking, and perhaps a bit flattered that I thought they were professionally done.

"Color me impressed." Which I was, very much so. I certainly couldn't do anything like this. "I can't draw very well. I mean, I can do some stuff on the computer, but not by hand. My painting is the level of a kindergartner."

"I see." The masked boy said, but he sounded almost amused. I couldn't tell for sure, but I like to think he was secretly smiling behind that mask of his that was now lowered over his mouth.

It was again quiet between us, and kinda awkward. I was struggling to think of a topic, any subject, but he was already onto opening a book and flipping through it.

"May I ask you a question?" He asked out of nowhere.

"Um, okay?" I said, unsure. Any question he might ask could be a trap.

"Why are you so intent on being my friend?" He said, not looking up at me.

"Honestly, I'm not so sure myself. You're just so... different."

His posture gave me the impression he was about ready to say something, maybe feeling offended, before I added with my hands up in surrender, "Not in a bad way! When I say different, I mean it as a compliment. Usually everyone has a certain type of reaction. But you... you don't make much sense. I mean, you act cold one moment and do something kind the next, then go back to being cold and distant. It's like your words and actions don't quite match up. I can't read you."

"So, you're trying to satisfy your curiosity by uncovering my secrets. Is that it?" He didn't sound offended, just thoughtful, but I can't really tell how he actually feels about anything.

"Well, yeah, I want to know more about you. But, I really want to be your friend, no matter how confusing you are. _I won't betray you_."

He was quiet again, I guess letting those words sink in. I wasn't sure if he was mad or happy or sad or anything. It's so frustrating not knowing.

After what felt like hours, he turned to an empty page of his book and picked up a pencil, chuckling quietly enough that I barely caught it and finally looked up at me, face always hidden, before asking, "May I draw you?"

Okay, that- that was different. I really can't get a read on him. He didn't sound mad or anything, and why would he ask to draw me? He really throws me off.

"O-okay." I said uncertainly, wondering why he asked and why he wasn't mad at me or trying to kill me for wanting to be friends with him or-

"Sit here." He said, patting a stool next to the window. So that's what he was sitting on earlier, he must have been drawing that bird I saw by the tree.

Quickly sitting by the window, I watched Ryan sitting on his bed as he kept glancing up at me and back down toward his book, pencil scratching on paper the only sound in the room. Unconsciously Ryan tilted his mask up over his mouth, seemingly out of habit, and hummed to himself as he focused on his work.

Sitting still wasn't really my specialty, though I knew artists in movies and stuff usually asked people to stay still when doing a portrait, so I did my best. Of course I was getting a bit antsy, as my mother would put it, and started fidgeting in the seat.

The masked boy must have noticed, because he then said, "You can move if you want. I usually draw birds, and they don't exactly stay still when asked."

I thought I heard a trace of humor in his voice, but again I wasn't sure. He never really gives any indicator of his feelings, and if so they just come out of no where and confuse me more than before.

"Why are you being so.. polite?" I asked curiously. "I thought you would have been mad and yelled at me or something."

He sighed audibly, setting his sketching tools down, saying a bit haughtily. "I'm trying to be civil. My mother quite clearly expects me to make nice with you, and I can't deny her wishes even if I wanted to."

Remembering back to his mother during dinner, I would agree that was what she was implying to him. So that's what that look was for. "You must care a lot about her for you to say that."

Ryan didn't say anything, just chose to look away seemingly out the window beside me, his lips pierced in obvious strain not to say something unfriendly.

"So, you're gonna try to be friends with me?" I asked against my better judgement. He might not like me asking or saying the "F" word.

And with the look he gave me proves he was not happy at the implication of us being anything close to it. He then sighed angrily, muttering, "Not friends. More like _'civilized acquaintances'._ Just to keep her off my back about it."

"I'm guessing this is the closest to friends as I'm gonna get with you." I said, to state the obvious, then added, "Okay, we'll be.. _civilized acquaintances_. But, that doesn't mean I'll give up on trying to be your friend."

"You can try all you want, but it'll be in vain." He said, lips turned to a cold smile. "I promise you, you and I will _never_ be friends."

"But I can still try." I pointed out stubbornly. "That's a start."

The masked boy shrugged, smile gone. "It won't matter. I already told you, I don't need nor want _friends_."

I was gonna say something when someone knocked on the door. "Felix, mom and dad are gonna leave without you if you don't hurry up and get down there."

"Ah, okay." Walking out the door, I glanced behind me to catch a glimpse of Ryan before going. He was sitting on his stool, looking out the window.

With his mask up over his mouth, pale pink lips opened in a sigh, he looked almost.. lonely. But if he wanted company, why would he push people away to begin with? That can't be it.

That night, I lay in bed, trying to sleep. My thoughts constantly wandered back to the mystery that Ryan was, trying to figure him out. He was just a bunch of paradoxes, that's what.

I wish I could understand.


	7. Chapter 7

**/AN: Anyone who read the last chapter any day before this chapter came out, please reread it. We made changes to it./**

Chapter 7- Sakura Dream

 _Ryan's Point of View:_

True to Felix's word, he indeed tried to make friends with me, and it was a nightmare. Everyday he beat me to the rooftop, insisting we ate together. When we had gym, he ran to me, demanding to be partners. I could never fend him off, and ended up being stuck with this idiot.

Ignoring him didn't work, being rude didn't work, threatening him didn't work, and trying to avoid him didn't help because somehow he always found my hiding spots. I was seriously regretting ever saying he could try; it was incredibly nerve wracking.

Just who does this guy think he is, interrupting my school and private life? Why're my usual tactics of instigating fear not working? It makes no sense whatsoever, how Felix thinks he can just waltz in and insist on suddenly being friends to the one person no one wants to befriend.

What is his ulterior motive? He must have one, everyone has selfish reasons for doing something. He's no different, and I shouldn't encourage him to try to get to know me, even as a joke or casual snide comment that I don't expect to be taken seriously.

This Felix... he's no different than everyone else here. He's a rotten person, he has to be. Because in no way is he like- And if he was, that would just make it more prudent that I stay far away from him.

I know the real monster in this universe is me anyway. I don't need to drag anyone else down the rabbit hole.

Laying in bed that night, I tried to come up with new ways to avoid him. _There has to be a better way to get him to leave me alone._ Eventually, exhaustion overtook me, and I fell into a dream.

 **...**

 _"What's the matter, huh? I barely touched you."_

 _"Yeah, you're such crybaby! Why don't you just run home to your mommy and daddy?"_

 _"Oh wait, you don't have a daddy, do ya?"_

 _"S-shut up!" I yelled, my hands clenched into angry fists. "I have a Daddy, and he's the best in the whole world!"_

 _"No you don't, cause your dad's dead."_

 _"Stop crying crybaby and get off the floor."_

 _"We didn't hit you that hard."_

 _"Hey!" A girl's voice yelled, coming out rather shakily in perhaps fear or maybe anger, "Leave him alone!"_

 _"Oh look, your giiirrrlfriend 's here!"_

 _"You can't be a boy if a girl has to save you!"_

 _"I got the teacher." She warned, "She's gonna come and catch you if you don't go!"_

 _"You guys are getting boring anyway. Come on guys."_

 _"Are you okay?" The girl asked when they were gone, holding out her hand to me as I lay on the floor._

 _Fists clenched, I tried to hold back the angry tears threatening to spill over._

 _"Why am I so weak?"_

 _A gentle hand laid on my head and began gently stroking my mop of messy black hair, comfortingly stating, "You're not weak. You're just different, and being different isn't bad."_

 _"I don't wanna be different! Being different just means always being left behind!" Angry tears began forming in my eyes again, and it took all my strength to keep them from falling as my voice began to crack in emotion, "I hate this! Just because Papa... everybody here has their dad, but me."_

 _"...I don't have a daddy either."_

 _Looking up in surprise, she smiled as I finally looked at her. Her soft brown hair curled gently around her heart-shaped face, bright blue eyes looking kindly, the sun shining from the window behind her encasing the girl in a warm glow. "We can be different together. Then, we won't be left all alone anymore. Okay?"_

 _Tongue-tied I nodded, tears finally shedding into sobs I tried to silence. The girl kept smiling that kind smile at me, murmuring "You cry a lot, huh? I thought boys didn't do that in front of girls."_

 _Sniffing, I rubbed at my eyes in attempt to disperse the tears, grumbling, "Sorry I'm such a crybaby."_

 _The girl shook her head, "No, don't be. It means your honest, and telling the truth is important."_

 _"I guess so." I said, tears still dripping from my eyes. I thought that if I kept crying like this, I might flood the school and everyone would drown, but it sounded silly._

 _She giggled a soft laugh that I could not help but find cute, then said rather teasingly, "I don't even know your name. I should just call you Cry."_

 _The way she said it didn't sound mean or anything remotely like that. She didn't look like she was trying to hurt me, which I'm glad about. I said rather shyly, "I-if it's you, then I'd be okay with it. I don't really like my name anyway."_

 _She seemed genuinely surprised by my saying that. Her small, pale pink lips had curved into the shape of an "O" before saying, "Okay. Then that'll be my nickname for you."_

 _"What should I call you?" I asked when I realized I didn't know her name either. I didn't wanna have to call her "That girl" or anything, it'd be rude._

 _"Anything you want."_

 _I hesitated, "I'm not very good at nicknames..."_

 _"That's okay, you don't gotta be." She said, then added more quietly, "I don't like my real name either. I don't wanna be called by it."_

 _"T-then, I could call you Sakura?" I said uncertainly, not sure if she would like it. It was the first thing that came to mind looking at her._

 _"I've never heard a nickname like that before."_

 _"It's a Japanese name that means Cherry Blossom." Feeling my face heat up in embarrassment, I stuttered, "Y-you're as p-p-pretty as the flower, s-so..."_

 _The girl's cheeks and the bridge across her nose turned pink at that, reminding me again of the pink flower, then smiled shyly. "No one's ever called me pretty before. I like it, the nickname. Thank you, that made me happy."_

 _Wiping away the drying tears streaked on my face, I, for the first time, smiled back at her rather shyly, embarrassed I had admitted to thinking that. But she was happy I said it, so I was too._

 _Sakura's shy smile turned into a blushing grin, holding her hand out to me again in invitation, a question in her eyes. What sort of question she was asking, I'm not so sure. Perhaps it was a request to be friends, or a silent agreement, or just being a good person and lending me a hand for me to get up._

 _Whatever the question, it didn't matter. Because when her ocean blue eyes grew warmer as I took her hand, I knew she would stick around._

 _And that's all I wanted; to see her again._

 ** _..._**

I awoke suddenly in a cold room, gasping in panic before realizing it was just that dream again, and my eyes were again met by my ceiling whilst I lay in bed. I turned my head to look out the window, seeing the first cracks of light breaking the night sky.

I sighed deeply, not bothering to move or to get out of bed. I have had dreams of her many nights, so this wasn't new, but it still unnerved me.

Closing my eyes again, I could hear her voice as though she were right there, whispering the same words in my ear as she did before, many years ago.

 _"I wish..."_


	8. Chapter 8

**/AN: Another chapter. We've been somewhat obsessing over this story, thinking of ways this story could play out. Nothing is set in stone, so anything can happen. Enjoy./**

Chapter 8- Transfer Students

 _Felix's Point of View:_

That day, Ryan didn't show up to school. Perhaps it's because I was being so pushy, and it drove him to not wanting to go. The thought made me feel instantly guilty, and the whole day I was debating on going over to his house to apologize for it. Should I? Or would it make it worse?

When the bell finally rang for the day to end, I quickly made my way out of the classroom. Unfortunately, luck isn't on my side when I accidentally ran into someone, knocking their books out of their hands.

 _'Jeez, my klutzy side is showing already.'_

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!" An accented girl's voice said in a rush as I was apologizing.

"That's okay." I said, bending down to pick up her books that fell. "Here, let me help."

"Oh thank you so much." She said when I handed them to her. The girl before me was petite, her head to my chest in height. Her skin was naturally tanned, and her hair the color of copper. With what she was wearing, I assumed she's pretty girly and finds cute fashion to be a priority.

She seemed to do a double take, looking at me with widened mocha eyes as she asked, "Are you perhaps the boy who's friends with Ryan Terry?"

Rubbing my neck awkwardly, I said sheepishly, "Well, not exactly. It's more of a one-sided friendship thing, hehe."

"But you still _talk_ with him." She pointed out, eyes still widened as she looked at me in perhaps awe. "He always keeps to himself, so it's surprising to see him talking with someone that isn't a teacher."

"Yeah, so I've noticed. I don't know why everyone's so scared of the guy, he isn't that bad-" I then shut my mouth, thinking he might not like me saying things like that to others. He would probably hate me for sure, and actually make due on those threats to _pummel(1)_ me. "A-anyways, you don't have to be scared of him, if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh, no!" She exclaimed in surprise, shaking her head vigorously, "I'm not scared of him, exactly." Her tanned cheeks turned a light shade of red as she admitted, "I've always wanted to talk with him, to make friends. But I was scared of how he'd react. What if he says no?"

This was... not what I expected. I thought she was scared of the masked guy, not _squishing(2)_ on him. It made me wonder how many other students actually wanted to be friends with him and were just scared he'll reject them. Knowing Ryan, it was most likely gonna happen, which didn't make it better.

Feeling more determined, I said, "Ryan is just someone who's awkward about that kinda thing. I'm sure it just takes awhile for him to warm up to someone enough to be on friendly terms. When I become his friend, I'll help him make new friends like you."

The girl smiled, looking like I just made her day- no, her month. "Thank you so much- oh, silly me, I didn't get your name!"

"The name's Felix. Felix Kjellberg."

"It's nice to meet you Felix. My name is Marzia Bisognin"

"Oh, so you're from Italy? I thought I recognized the accent."

"You can tell?" Marzia asked in happy surprise, "Everyone assumes I'm Spanish, so it's a relief someone got it right the first time."

"It is kinda difficult to tell the difference, unless you're from Europe." I sympathized, "I was born and raised in Sweden, but I spent a few years in Britain before moving here, so my accent is a bit all over the place."

It was nice chatting with someone who understood what it was like transferring to a school in another country. She was a nice girl, and if Ryan would bother to give people a chance he would see that too. Maybe then he would open up more and stop being such a grouch.

* * *

"...what do _you_ want?"

I had decided to go check on the masked boy, but I only realized after knocking that I had no idea what to say. It didn't help that Ryan was wearing nothing but baggy sweatpants and his mask, in the process of towel drying his mop of wet brown hair.

I instead chose to hold out the papers in my hand toward him, looking away in awkward embarrassment as I said, "H-here, the teachers wanted me to give you your assignment. And I-I wanted to check up on you, to make sure you were okay."

He seemed to be studying me for a moment, making me more uncomfortable and for some reason oddly shy, before he finally said, "Come in." I hesitantly walked into his home, surprised he would bother to invite me in.

His home was small, but tidy, the smell of food wafting in from the kitchen. "What are you cooking? It smells great."

"Nothing, it's already made. I'm simply storing the rest in the fridge for my mother when she gets home."

"I see. It still smells good though."

"Thank you."

I followed him up to his room, sitting on the chair next to the window in awkward silence. Well, to me it was awkward, wasn't so sure if Ryan was bothered by it or not. He seems like the kind of person who likes peace and quiet.

I watched as he pulled a shirt out of his dresser, only noticing when he lifted his arms the painful looking scar on the length of one, being covered by the long sleeves. "That scar, where did you get it?"

He seemed to jump at my answer, facing me quickly, body rigid as he answered cautiously, "What scar?"

"The one on your arm." I said, confused. He must be self conscious about that sort of thing, not wanting people to know about it.

Ryan visibly relaxed a little though at my answer, saying in what sounds like relief, "Oh, that? It was nothing, just a cat."

Suspicious, I retorted, "Must have been a big cat then. Because it looks too deep a cut to be a kitty cat."

"Mind your own business." Ryan snapped, "I said it was a cat, so lay off."

I didn't bother arguing my point anymore, since it would only piss the masked boy off more. Though his answer raised suspicions about it. Why was he so concerned when I asked about his scar, then be relieved when I said it was on his arm?

I don't know, he's such a hard case to crack. The scar looked painful, and nothing like a cat scratch. More like he fell and cut it, or a person did it accidentally or maybe meant it as a threat.

"Mind if I draw you?" He asked, lifting his sketchbook up in question. I nodded, letting him draw me again. _I wonder when he'll actually let me see his sketch of me though._ Who knows, since it is Ryan of all people.

Glancing around his room, I noticed a picture had been probably knocked down on accident and I picked it up to fix it, pausing to look closer at it. It looked like a little boy and girl, smiling and hugging each other happily. Maybe it's-

Before I could try to decipher that code, Ryan quickly ripped it from my hands, holding it protectively to his chest as he growled, "Don't touch things that don't belong to you."

"I-I'm sorry, I was ju-"

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" He snapped, angry, "Just don't do it again. Understand?"

"Y-yes, sorry, I won't do it again." I surrendered, not wanting to fight. He got really mad over it, though I don't know why. He has a lot of secrets he keeps locked up tight, with no easy way to get in, so much so it is near impossible.

"As long as you understand." Ryan stated less angrily, calming down as he put the picture back where it was before I touched it. "Let's continue."

"O-okay."

My mind was filled with questions and possible answers even after I went home. The most frequent question I kept asking myself being:

 _"What is Ryan hiding?"_

 **/AN:**

 **1) Pummel- means to repeatedly beat someone down, especially with fists**  
 **2) Squishing (squish)- is similar to having a platonic crush on someone, meaning you really want them to be your friend; friend-crushing/**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9- Pushed

 _Ryan's Point of View:_

I was sure that Felix would bring up the subject of the scar on my arm again, but he didn't even mention it, just acted like normal. I wasn't sure if I should be relieved he might have bought the story and won't question it anymore, or concerned he might look into it and pester me about it.

Either way, I would keep my mouth shut. Like hell he is getting anything from me, I'll make sure he doesn't find out anything.

"Oh, Ryan, wait!"

I glanced to the staircase when my name was called, already knowing who it was. I planned on just walking ahead, when I caught the sight of the three upperclassmen from before as well.

There was no warning as their leader shoved Felix, watching as the Swedish boy was pulled by gravity off the edge.

My heart stopped as a memory appeared before my eyes.

* * *

 _Regular Point of View:_

 _"Sakura! Watch out!"_

 _"Huh? Cry?" She asked, turning around in time to see the evil smirk of one of the girls before being pushed back off the stairs._

 _Ryan rushed forward and caught her in time before she could hit the floor, holding her tightly in his protective embrace, glaring at the two girls as they ran off giggling._

 _"Sakura, are you okay?!"_

 _"Y-yeah, I think so." She said, surprised as Ryan held her tighter, sobbing into her hair._

 _"Those girl's... it's not fair! You didn't do anything wrong, you didn't.. y-you...!"_

 _Sakura laughed softly, "Silly Cry, I'm not worth crying over."_

 _But she hugged him back just as tightly, hiding her crying face in his shoulder._

 _Stop of Regular POV:_

* * *

Moving forward hastily, I easily caught Felix mid-fall, keeping him in a protective hold as I glared at the three upperclassmen. I knew they couldn't see my face, but staring at them was enough for them to see the mistake they made as they ran off quickly.

"U-um, Ryan?"

It was then I realized what I just did, and I jerked away from Felix as though I was hugging hot iron. Without looking back, I walked off quickly, questioning myself.

 _What did I just do? Why did I- Why did they- What-_

I couldn't seem to process anything, nothing was making sense, and my head was filled with memories I wanted to forget.

One thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to make those three upperclassmen pay. To make them hurt like they hurt others.

 **/AN: A short chapter, but necessary. Hope you enjoyed./**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10- Bipolar

 _Felix's Point of View:_

This guy... this bipolar, secretive, loner, towering guy has been getting on my nerves lately. His mood swings have been all over the place. One moment he's his usual self, threatening to kill me or something like that, then the next thing I know he's swiping my bangs out of my face and stroking my hair or staring at me, then suddenly he becomes cold and harsh, more than he usually is.

What's his deal? I can't keep up his sudden mood shifts at all! I just can't tell whether he's gonna hit me or hug me, and it's kinda terrifying if you ask me. Maybe this is his new way of getting me to leave him alone? I don't think so, cause when he catches himself being nice in any way he pulls back and gets angry.

I think he gets angry at himself for somehow having nice feelings around me, but his anger is lashed out on me so it doesn't help the fact that I finally got to him in some way. What I did to manage that, I have no clue.

It started when he caught me on the staircase. Afterward he started acting like this, which I agree what he did was kind of out of character for him. I didn't see who pushed me, but Ryan probably did.

I decided that as soon as the bell rang for our lunch period, I would confront him about it and demand to know what his problem was. I mean, I guess he sees me as a problem, but I meant besides me.

* * *

Ryan was already sitting on the rooftop, his lunch (though he calls it a "bento") sitting on his lap unopened, as if he were waiting for me to get there. Though then again, this was Ryan, so it might just be wishful thinking on my part.

As soon as I sat down the masked boy opened his bento and clapped his hands together, doing this ritual thing he usually does before tilting his mask just above his mouth. I don't know what sort of mumble jumble he starts talking in, but it certainly wasn't English. Sounded kinda Asian, honestly.

"I've been meaning to ask.. what is that you do?"

Ryan looked at me, head tilted in an inquiring way, "What, you mean when I thank for my meal?"

"Huh? Thank who for your meal? Your mom? God? Is that a Christian or Catholic or Hebrew thing religious people do"

The masked boy made a quiet laugh, but it was there all the same, and said bemused, "Not exactly. I suppose it is used in religious households to thank Kami-sama for their meal, but it is now more of a tradition that has become apart of Japanese custom."

"Japanese, huh? Is that what you are?" I asked, honestly curious.

"My father was." He said more quietly, and the feeling of him distancing himself came again. I guess that was a taboo subject, and he wouldn't open up anymore about it.

"Could you teach me how to do it?" I asked, trying to reel him back into whatever camaraderie there was before. I wanted to try to salvage the conversation, but bring it to safer waters.

He seemed to sort of snap out of whatever thoughts he was having, sounding surprised as he said, "Teach you, what, the custom?"

"Yeah!" I said enthusiastically, wanting to pull him into the same feeling of excitement, "Teach me how to say- what was it? _Itadookimasute_?"

"No, it's pronounced, _Itadakimasu_."

"Ee-ta-dakee-masu?"

"You'll get the hang of it with practice." He said with what looks like an amused smirk.

I grinned, laughing a little, "I'm not too good at other languages though. It took me awhile to learn English."

"Do not worry, it took me awhile to learn English as well..." Ryan trailed off, then suddenly reached out his hand toward me. I thought he was gonna slap me, but instead he pulled a few loose strands from my face and tucked it behind my ear, hand lingering there, cupping my face as he stared at me.

"U-um.. bro? Ryan? W-what are you doing?" I asked, embarrassed at being stared at so intensely, his hand sending tiny electric tingles through my ear and head. Staring back into his mask, I could almost make out his eye color.

Snapping out of it, he quickly pulled his hand away as though it had been burned, quickly gathering his lunch and starting to leave quickly.

"W-wait, Ryan!" I said, quickly rushing forward and grabbing his wrist, stopping him from leaving.

"Let go of me!" He exclaimed, tugging his arm to get it out of my grip, but I held fast.

"Not until you tell me what's going on." I said, growing a little angry but worried, "One moment we're all chummy, and the next you're either running away or calling me stupid or being more mean than usual. Please tell me why!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Ryan snapped, turning with angry anxiety in his voice, "We weren't all 'chummy', you just imagine we are!"

"I don't imagine it!" I snapped back, "Ever since you caught me from falling on the stairs, you've been acting weird. Why? Is it because of who pushed me?"

"Sorry that I decided to save you!" He said angrily, a growl in his voice, "Next time you get pushed off a fucking staircase, I won't bother helping you!"

"That's what I don't understand! Why would you help me?"

"For the last time, I'm not a god damn monster!" Ryan yelled, finally yanking his wrist free from my grip, looking at me as he suddenly said coldly, "I could _**never**_ be friends with someone like you."

Flinching, I stepped back from him, and with that the masked boy ran off. I know he was just lashing out, trying to hurt me to get me to back off, but it hurt to hear that.

Still, I decided to chase after him.

 _ **/AN: It's about time Ryan lashed out at Felix. He is going through some strange changes after all, and he doesn't understand what's happening to him. Hope you enjoyed./**_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- Strange

 _Ryan's Point of View:_

Lately, I have been feeling strange. I don't know what it is, but every time I see that blonde Swede's face I feel torn between punching him and stroking his honey colored locks. Is this normal? What's happening to me? Am I becoming some sort of classic tsundere to the people around me?

I have no clue, and it's driving me crazy! I catch myself staring at him, thinking he has such pretty eyes. I know he does, who wouldn't admire that shade of artistic beauty? But it's the fact I'm feeling weirdly... attached, to the face belonging to those crystal orbs.

I want to knock some sense into him, that being friends with me is a bad idea on his part. I want to knock some sense into myself that even thinking of letting him try to befriend me is the worst mistake of my life, even if it was sarcasm taken seriously.

Worst of all, every time I think of those damn upperclassmen, I get so-so angry! I want to smash their faces off of the floor and wipe that smirk off their faces. Make them pay for hurting people the way they do. I want them to suffer.

It's not because I feel a desire to avenge Felix or any of that bullshit. I just really, really dislike those egotistical moronic bullies of senpais'. They're a disgrace to the human race, which is saying a lot considering it's already fairly bad on its own at the moment.

It doesn't help that I have this sense of protection over those who get bullied. And the new kid was getting bullied by those cavemen. This must be why I feel so odd, I just hate it when people who are weaker get picked on by stronger people. It pisses me off to no end, more than the Swedish transfer student does.

With this clarity, I tried to think of solutions to this problem, watching the clock for the bell to ring. It doesn't help me get him to leave me alone if I constantly feel the need to protect the idiot from others and even himself. I'll have to take care of those bullies so he won't get targeted by them anymore. This should solve my problem.

As soon as the bell rang once I was out of there, bento already in hand as I headed toward the roof with a sense of urgency. I had to be there first, is what I felt, though my mind could see no logic with that reasoning.

Either way, I was on the rooftop fairly early, leaning against the wall as I slid down, knees bent lazily as I sat my bento on my lap, waiting.

Right on cue, Felix came strolling in, eyes immediately searching for me. Having seen me in my usual spot, he hurriedly came to sit next to me, which I took as my cue to begin eating.

Clapping my hands together, I prayed, "Itatakimasu!" Then proceeded to eat.

"I've been meaning to ask.. what is that you do?"

I looked at him curiously, head tilted inquiringly, "What, you mean when I thank for my meal?"

"Huh?" Felix asked, dumbfounded, "Thank who for your meal? Your mom? God? Is that a Christian or Catholic or Hebrew thing religious people do"

I couldn't help the quiet laugh that came from that line of questioning, "Not exactly. I suppose it is used in religious households to thank Kami-sama for their meal, but it is now more of a tradition that has become apart of Japanese custom."

"Japanese, huh? Is that what you are?" The new kid asked, looking genuinely curious.

"My father was." I found myself saying before I could catch myself, biting my tongue as I realized what I just said. I haven't ever spoken of my father to anyone, no one but my mother knew much about him, and we don't bring up that subject.

I must have went off in thought, because the next thing I know he was asking, "Could you teach me how to do it?"

"Teach you, what, the custom?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah!"He said enthusiastically, and if he were a dog I would imagine his tail would be wagging in excitement, "Teach me how to say- what was it? _Itadookimasute_?"

"No, it's pronounced, _Itadakimasu_."

"Ee-ta-dakee-masu?"

"You'll get the hang of it with practice." I stated, an amused smirk finding itself on my lips.

He laughed a little, grinning ear to ear, loose strands of golden hair falling in front of his face, "I'm not too good at other languages though. It took me awhile to learn English."

"Do not worry, it took me awhile to learn English as well..." I trailed off, finding myself reaching my hand toward him. He flinched away a little as though I was gonna slap him, but instead I pulled a few loose strands from his face and tucked it behind his ear, hand lingering there, cupping his face as I stared into those blue crystals.

They really were artistic beauty... I wanted to capture that color...

"U-um.. bro? Ryan? W-what are you doing?" Felix asked, looking embarrassed about being stared at so intensely, and I felt a shiver as my hand absentmindedly began to stroke his hair.

This... _What the hell am I doing?!_

Finally snapping out of whatever that was, I quickly yanked my hand that betrayed me, quickly gathering my bento and deciding it was best to leave before I did anything else I would regret.

"W-wait, Ryan!" I heard him say, a hand grasping my wrist, holding it tightly in it's hold.

"Let go of me!" I exclaimed, tugging my arm, desperate to get out of his grip, but he held fast.

"Not until you tell me what's going on." Felix said, frustration clear in his voice, "One moment we're all chummy, and the next you're either running away or calling me stupid or being more mean than usual. Please tell me why!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I snapped, turning to face him, anxiety and anger growing, "We weren't all 'chummy', you just imagine we are!"

"I don't imagine it!" He snapped back, "Ever since you caught me from falling on the stairs, you've been acting weird. Why? Is it because of who pushed me?"

"Sorry that I decided to save you!" I growled angrily, "Next time you get pushed off a fucking staircase, I won't bother helping you!"

"That's what I don't understand!" Felix exclaimed, gripping my wrist tighter, "Why would you help me?"

"For the last time..." I said, voicing growing in volume as fury wracked through my body, "I'm not a god damn monster!"

I finally yanking my wrist free from his surprisingly strong grip, glancing at him as I said as harshly and bitterly as I could muster, "I could _**never**_ be friends with someone like you."

Felix visibly flinched as the words left my mouth, taking a step back from me, face twisted in hurt. The expression sent a pang through my chest, squeezing it almost painfully, almost like a boa constrictor had slithered inside me and decided to wrap itself around my heart's emotions.

I did the only thing I could think of; run.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12- Searching

 _Felix's Point of View:_

I use to be one of those spoiled rich kids who came from a wealthy family, someone whose family had a social status and expectations to be met. I had friends like me, who had rich families and had the same type of expectations as I did.

I thought they were my best friends in the whole world, but when my family became bankrupt they all started ignoring me. They said they couldn't be seen with someone less than them. I didn't understand, weren't we all friends? Didn't friends stick with one another, no matter what?

I was so naive, to think things could stay the same between us. When my parents said they were moving to America to live in my grandparent's old house, somewhere near my well-off Aunt, I wasn't as sad as I thought I'd be to see it all disappear.

I didn't care for the money much anyway. I just wished my friends would have been the friends I trusted them to be.

Moving to America, I decided I would make a new life for myself. Be the friendly guy everyone liked, so maybe my friends would stay because they liked me, and not my money. I wanted people to like me.

Meeting Ryan had been so strange. Here I was, trying so hard to be well liked, and he wasn't worried about it. He said he didn't need friends, and maybe I was a bit jealous he could be fine all alone and I couldn't be.

Ryan was different than other people. He's secretly kind and protects others. He cares about people, like his mother, a lot more than kids I know tend to show. He takes care of them, helps them, even if he acts mean to keep them away from himself.

I think, he's actually just as lonely as I am.

I want to help him, to learn more about him, to be his friend.

So, I searched and searched for him, hoping maybe fate would guide me to the masked boy.

 _ **/AN: A short chapter, but needed. Hope you enjoyed./**_


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13- Loss

 _Ryan's Point of View:_

 _"I could_ _ **never**_ _be friends with someone like you."_

 ** _"Never."_**

I shouldn't feel guilty for saying that. It's true, and that damn kid should have known that already. But seeing that hurt look in those damn eyes...

Damnit! I don't regret saying it, those things had to be said! He's so frustrating, trying to get inside my head, reminding me of- of _her_ _!_

 _I wish we could be together forever, Cry._

I cringed at the ugly memory trying to rear its head in, demanding to be brought to the center of my attention. I don't want to remember, and this- this guy is messing me up all over again. Isn't once enough?

I stopped running when I found myself at my old playground, memory after memory deciding to come forth and taunt me with their existence. I sat down on the same swing set, glancing around before taking off my mask, my shield from the world.

Inspecting the same old ceramic Sakura made with her own hands, crafting it and painting the face with concentrated precision. I couldn't help smiling fondly as I remembered her triumphant grin as she handed it to me, completely proud of herself.

 _"There."_ She had said, holding up her own, _"Now you and I can match! See?"_

I know she had made hers to hide the bruises that formed on her face. The same type of bruise she had on the other parts of her body, all received from her abusive mother. And she made me my own to hide the proof of my weakness.

Still, it was yet another kindness I would never have the chance to pay her back.

It was her gentleness; her caring of others over herself that eventually caught up to her.

Her kindness wasn't rewarded. It was punished.

* * *

 _Flashback:_

 _"Where do you think you're going, huh?"_

 _"Yeah, don't ignore us, get over here!"_

 _I had tried to escape them, but they were too big and strong, overpowering my prepubescent body easily. They're big gorilla hands gripping the front of my shirt, yanking me off the ground in bully intimidation manner, grinning snidely at my weak attempts at struggling._

 _"Such a loser, can't even fight back!"_

 _"So pathetic and puny!_

 _"Whata joke!"_

 _"Hey!" I heard Sakura yell, turning to see her come up to them with a glare. "Let him go!"_

 _They only smirked, taunting, "If it isn't the little girlfriend here to save you!"_

 _One of them grabbed her arm, pulling her toward them with an evil smirk, "You're just as weak as your boyfriend is. Why don't you go find yourself a real man, like me?"_

 _"If being a man means you have to hurt others to make yourself feel big and tough, then I rather date a boy who doesn't."_

 _"Listen here you smart mouth little girl..." He said threateningly, yanking her harshly by her arm._

 _"L-leave her alone!" I yelled, struggling against the one bully, "She's got nothing to do with this!"_

 _"Oh I think she does." The one said with a grin, "And we're gonna have to be the ones to teach her some manners."_

 _I gulped when the one holding me took out a knife, the sunlight catching on it with a deadly gleam, setting it against my face, "Start apologizing girly, or your boy toy might start missing an eye."_

 _"I-I'm sorry! Please don't hurt him, please! I beg of you!"_

 _Smirking wider, he pressed the knife harder against my cheek, at which I could feel the edge of it digging into my flesh. "I couldn't hear ya clearly. Say it louder!"_

 _"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't hurt Cry!"_

 _"What's that ya called him? Cry?" The one bully asked, grin turning sickeningly sadistic, "How fitting. Cry for me, little Ryan. Cry!"_

 _And then the pain came. The pain was agonizing, the blade digging deeper and deeper into my skin, the cut being etched onto my face as blood flowed onto my shirt and my attacker, screams being muffled by a hand._

 _I wasn't sure who was screaming, me or her._

 _The blood. I could taste it hot on my tongue, the smell so strong I wanted to puke. Even after it was over, I could still feel the cut of the knife in my face, blood seeping out of the wound._

 _Blinking, trying to remain conscious, I couldn't see my attackers. I could make out one other person laying still on the ground near me. Even fading in and out of consciousness, I could tell._

 _She wasn't breathing._

* * *

This wasn't the end of it. It couldn't have just been me. I found out later while in the hospital that one of Sakura's lungs had collapsed. Whether that was from being crushed by one of the attackers or from other circumstances was unknown to me, nobody wanting to tell me more.

It frustrated me to no end, and I made sure to visit her even while in the hospital myself. The wound had been bandaged, and I was afraid to take it off to see the damage underneath.

Sakura made me forget those worries, and focus on hers. When I asked her what was wrong with her lungs, she said she had no clue what happened exactly. She didn't remember much of the incident other than the basics.

I thought it could be fixed, and she could go home in no time. But, life decided to deal her a different card.

She had to stay hospitalized, and Sakura didn't get better. Her health only got worse, keeping her hospitalized. I visited her every day, not wanting her to have to be alone for as long as she was in there. Then, when she got out, I would make it up to her, and give back the kindness she had given me.

But she never did leave that hospital.

I remember falling asleep, waiting for her to wake up. She was always so tired in there, and her hair was thinning so it wasn't strange to see strands or even clumps of it laying near her.

I remember waking up to her warm smile greeting me, hand stroking my hair soothingly. Whenever I started crying, she would shush me, reassuring me that everything would be okay.

When she was feeling weak and in pain, I would tell her of the adventures we would have when she got out of there, promising to show her the flower in Japan she reminds me of.

But we never got to go.

She promised to always be by my side.

But... she broke that promise.

 _"I wish we could be together forever, Cry."_

When she died, something inside me just broke. I felt empty, heartbroken, and all alone. And for once, I didn't cry.

 _"Please don't cry over me. I'm not worth crying over."_

Sakura is worth the world. But, a part of me wants to honor her words, to listen to what she said. Ever since that day, I have never cried.

This mask... it's all I have left of her now.

Maybe I'm just scared to get close to another person like I was with her. To make a friendship, only for them to leave me alone again. Felix, he's so idiotic and weird and nosy- but, maybe... just maybe...

It was then I heard the snap of a tree branch, and I remembered where I was. Quickly slipping on my mask, I turned to see Felix standing a few feet away, looking at me with a deer in the headlight expression.

Without a word, I patted the swing next to me, waiting as Felix walked over and sat down, neither of us saying a word.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14- Maybe We Can Try

 _Felix's Point of View:_

I lost sight of Ryan more quickly than I thought, and at this point I was just hoping to run into him coincidentally or something by sheer luck. But today was not one of those days.

It was nearly nightfall by the time I finally found him on a playground, swinging a little absentmindedly. Wouldn't be the first place I'd go, but Ryan is a mystery after all. Watching, I noticed a certain white mask lifted toward the sky, Ryan staring at it.

My heart did a somersault, realizing that the masked boy was de-masked right at this moment, something he never did around other people. It was hard to make out his face, so I went to move closer, being as quiet as I could.

But, again, luck wasn't on my side today. As soon as I got almost close enough to make out his face, I stepped on a twig with a loud crack. I hoped Ryan didn't hear it, but he did and he quickly put back on the mask, turning to look at me.

Now that I finally found him, I realized I had no idea what to say. Do I apologize first, or say hello, or make some kind of joke? Do I sit next to him and not say anything?

Ryan chose for me as he patted the swing next to him, and I was grateful he decided not to bolt from sight. I took the swing next to him, swaying a bit as I moved my legs but kept my feet firmly planted on the ground.

It was quiet again, the masked boy looking down at the ground, not saying anything. I wasn't sure what I should say, but I had to at least apologize for cornering him like that.

"Hey, I-"

"I'm sorry." Ryan interrupted, saying it just loud enough for me to hear. "For insulting you like that.. I'm sorry."

"N-no, Ryan, it's my fault for being so pushy." I said, surprised that he actually apologized to me. He never apologizes for his insults.

Ryan looked at me for a moment before facing the sky, voice quiet as he admitted, "I-I once had a friend, a long time ago." I heard him take a deep, calming breathe before adding, "But- they're gone now. There's no helping that."

Lifting his mask just above his mouth, Ryan gave a tiny unsure smile, asking, "If it's alright, I think- maybe, we could try to be friends?"

I couldn't help smiling, feeling a sense of triumph and glee, "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

When the masked boy looked back up at the sky, I looked up at it to. It was dark now, the night sky filled with twinkling stars, the full moon shining its light on the quiet Earth.

A newfound friendship is born.

* * *

"Hey lil Bro, where've you been?" Fanny, my elder sister, asked when I walked in the door.

"Just hanging out with a friend."

My sister grinned at my answer, poking my side as she said slyly, "A friend, huh? So what, did my little brother finally get himself a girlfriend?"

I rolled my eyes, "No, I was hanging out with a _guy_ friend."

"Oh, so a boyfriend then?" She asked, an eyebrow raised, "I don't mind, but you're gonna have to be the one who explains to mom why she has two gay kids now."

My elder sister has been dating a girl from Norway for the past two years, and the move didn't affect their relationship since she was just on break from college. They shared an apartment together, and her girlfriend is actually pretty cool.

Being nearly broke, it didn't affect my sister's ride into college since she got in on a full scholarship. Fanny also has been working a part-time job at a nice Norwegian cafe, so she has been saving up.

Mom and dad didn't exactly understand their daughter's preference for women over men, but they supported her decision on her love life.

"No, we're just friends. I don't think he even swings that way."

"Well, you never know." She shrugged, heading down the hall to the guest bedroom that serves as her bedroom when visiting. I shook my head at her as I went to my own room, flopping on my bed with a laugh.

I finally am sorta-friends with Ryan, and I felt very happy about this. I wanted to shout to the world that I made friends with the masked boy, a feat only one other has achieved.

 _I never knew he had a friend before, though now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense._ I wondered what kind of person they were to have gotten on Ryan's good side. He clearly cares about them, whoever they are.

 _"But- they're gone now. There's no helping that."_

Did he mean they passed away, or that they moved away? Maybe they had a falling out or something and that person didn't die. I want to know what happened, but I don't think Ryan will be willing to say anything more about it.

I shook my head. It obviously took a great deal of resolve for Ryan to finally accept trying to be friends with me. I don't want to ruin that by bringing up bad topics for him.

After working so hard for this, I want to make sure I don't ruin this for him.

 _ **/AN: So, Felix and Ryan have agreed to attempt at being friends. Wonder if they can maintain it. Hope you enjoyed./**_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15- How Does One Do the Friendship?

 _Ryan's Point of View:_

One thing I'm beginning to realize with friendship is that I have no idea how one does become friends. Sakura and I became friends through bullies, but Felix? I have no idea how to be friends with him.

Most of the male students who are friends give each other high-fives and chest bumps. The female students who are friends hug each other and gossip a lot. Is that what friends are suppose to do?

I decided to just go with whatever Felix knew of friendships. But that didn't prove really helpful, since he was the same as usual for the most part. I mean, he's clingier and he smiles at me a lot more, but nothing really has changed.

Though, I guess I'm the one who's changed. At least I'm trying to. I feel both on edge and relaxed around this guy, like I'm unsure how to communicate but I feel okay enough to just let a couple guards down, to not be so distant.

During gym though, Felix came skipping toward me with that familiar Cheshire cat grin, his arm casually wrapping around my shoulders in a strange side hug, which he had to stand on his toes a bit to achieve. "Hey bro, wanna be partners again?"

"I-idiot!" I find myself sputtering in disbelief, pushing him off me roughly in shock, darting my eyes around the gym instinctively in search of a threat. "There are people around!"

Felix blinked slowly at me as if the thought had never crossed his mind, and waved it off with a grin. "Don't worry about it, Ryan. Jeez, that's not something to get worked up about!"

Even as he said that, I noticed the eyes watching us with obvious disgust and discomfort on their faces, and I could tell by the sneers some females gave that their hateful gazes wasn't toward Felix, but for me alone.

Processing this information, I theorized that they were possibly Felix's fangirls, considering how they act around him. It's not a surprise they hate me interacting with their ideal guy, and see me as some outcast who has no business with this good looking foreigner.

Felix must have noticed the looks, but he paid them no heed as he kept that grin plastered across his face, attention focused on me. This idiot is either oblivious or doesn't take them seriously, which he should.

When it became glaringly obvious I wasn't gonna move, he grasped my hand and pulled me away with an exaggerated sigh that didn't diminish his upbeat tune. "Jeez, hurry up already. Don't overthink things and just have fun."

Blinking, I stared at the hand he was holding, curiously asking, "Are you... trying to cheer me up?"

"Depends, is it working?" He asked back, giving me the look equivalent to a puppy seeking praise and expecting rebuttal instead. With a sigh, I couldn't help but smile a little at the comparison. This guy was like a dog alright, enough that I could almost envision the ears pinned back and tail curling in on itself.

"I don't have to give answers to a mutt like you." I stated, taking my hand back as I walked ahead of him. Glancing behind me, I couldn't help but snicker as I imagined the sad droop of his dog ears and tail curled between his legs, big sad puppy eyes flashing at me with hurt that would have pained me if not for my imagination.

I must have laughed louder than I thought, cause he took notice and looked a little angry, but a playfulness was there too as he whined, "What's that suppose to mean?!"

I was feeling a strange bubbly emotion buried in my chest, like an excited happiness and enjoyment I never allowed myself to feel. It was nice, a warmth I haven't felt in years blossoming there. Is this what friendship is suppose to be like? A sort of comfort and enjoyment one doesn't get from other people?

I didn't get a chance to reflect on this before Felix yanked me hard toward him, a basketball flying past us and hurdling at the wall with a loud crack. The off-blue padding glued onto the white brick shook from the impact. It was definitely intended as a threat to me. Felix was too.. soft, to be the one whoever threw it meant to hurt.

Felix looked angry now, all hints of playfulness gone as he pushed me behind him with my back facing a wall, taking a protective stance in front of me. I would have pointed out to him that my head could still be easily hit, since he's shorter than me, but I didn't think he would listen anyway.

"Who threw that?!" Felix practically growled, darting his gaze at different people in search of the perpetrator. I was only half paying attention, my own gaze locked onto a male student looking at me with hate-filled eyes.

Though I could see the twinge of fear layered underneath as my masked face was turned to his particular direction, I knew the female behind him with an angry glare at the thrower was the one who instigated him into doing it. I could see it in her eyes the greed of making men like Felix hers.

This wasn't anything new to me, however. I was use to the girls around here thinking with their sex drive and greed rather than their cruel, loveless heart. _Cold and lifeless... great, now I want to paint that image. They're like a harsh winter, deadly to the life once there, consuming cold taking over and burying everything under a sheet of ice._

My thoughts must have drifted too far off from reality, because the next thing I knew Felix was pulling me out of the gymnasium and into the locker room, angrily muttering something like, "..stupid... think they can... boy I outta..."

Letting the door slam shut behind us, he sighed heavily and punched the locker closest to him in frustration. Though I guess it hurt, because he then cussed and held his hand to his chest, giving a noise somewhere between a whimper and a snarl. It was kind of funny.

"Punching metal isn't exactly going to give you anything but an injured hand, you know." I stated, which made Felix turn to me with a slightly annoyed face.

"I know that already." He said, plopping down on the bench with a huff, arms crossed over his chest as he swung one leg over the other. "But they made me so- so.. mad!"

"Why are you mad?" I asked, head tilted in question. "It isn't like they did anything to you." It's curious how he is so pissed when they weren't even aiming any hate or grudge toward him.

Felix glared at me hard enough to make me uncomfortable, "They chucked a ball at you! Dirty looks are one thing, but throwing stuff..." A look of dawning realization came over his face as he looked at me.

"Ryan... have they done that before? Throw stuff at you and give dirty looks, I mean."

I chose not to say anything incriminating toward anyone, letting my silence answer that question for him. This made him sigh, getting up from his seat. "I guess I won't get an answer out of you." Giving a small smile, he added, "Let's just change and head to the roof. The teacher isn't even here, which is stupid."

"He's taking a nap in his office." I stated, "He usually does on self-gym class days."

"Works out for us, at least. Let's go."

Then we went to the roof and talked about nothing in particular. It's strange, I usually don't skip out of gym classes with another person. Is this what friends do? Talk about nothing and help each other out?

The light shining in his eyes, bursting with energy and vigor for life... it reminds me of Sakura's. He may be an idiot, but he has a good heart. Those two are as different as can be, but that's okay, I think. He doesn't have to be like her.

However one becomes friends, I think we can be that without a clear direction.

 _ **/AN: A self-gym class is similar to a free-day, or a gym class where you just shoot hoops and such with little to no direction from a teacher except supervising./**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**/AN: To the anonymous review called "somebody", yes we do remember you. Thank you and everyone else for your lovely reviews./**_

Chapter 16- Computer Geeks

 _Felix's Point of View:_

I heard from a fellow classmate of mine that there was a computer/gaming club, and as soon as those words were said I was so in. I loved gaming growing up, video games and my computer were practically my best friends. And because I could afford it, I played a lot of games soon after they came out.

My computer was my haven; my place of seclusion where I could be on my own and be whoever I wanted to be with no responsibilities. If there was a club for it, then of course I'd join. As if I need to be asked twice!

Though, I guess Ryan had a different standpoint on the whole club thing.

"Pleeeaassee Ryan!? Pretty Please?"

My masked friend's mouth was turned into an unhappy frown, and I knew he was probably scowling at me. "For the last time, no, I won't join a stupid club. Go be with your fellow geeks if you want to, but count me out."

"But whaaaaayyyy?!" I whined, which I should know by now doesn't work on Ryan, but I did so anyway out of habit. "Whay won't you join with me? I promise they're pretty cool once you get to know them."

Ryan sighed, explaining to me as though I were a child, "I told you before, I don't want to get to know them. I'm not interested in making friends, Felix, now drop it."

"Don't patronize me." I grumbled, "And besides, you can't say that anymore cause you got me now! Number one bro, remember?"

With that, Ryan sighed again as he placed his hand against his mask in exasperation, finally resigning, "I'll.. check it out. The club. But only if you shut up about it."

I victoriously threw my fist in the air, excitedly grasping and tugging on Ryan's hand to get going, practically dragging him in my excitement. "Yay! This is gonna be so much fun, just you wait!"

* * *

"Oh, Felix, it's nice to see you again!"

I glanced over at the row of computers and noticed Marzia sitting at one, waving me over with a grin.

"Oh hey Marzia! Good to see you too. I didn't think you were in this club."

The mocha toned girl gave an impish smile as she confessed, "I'm not in this club, actually. I'm in the art club. But I do my artwork on the computer, so I come in here to do some independent stuff."

 _Huh, so she's an art buff like Ryan. Must be nice._

"That's pretty cool. I'd love to see your work sometime."

"If you'd like, you can look on my deviant art gallery. I post all of my work on there. Here, I'll show you." Turning back toward her computer screen, she quickly typed in the URL and brought us to her page.

The monitor showed some animated characters with wide, black emphasized eyes. Some had frightened or curious expressions, and others large creepy grins with razor sharp teeth. Those portrayed as villains had faces that looked almost hungry; a bloodlust obvious on their twisted but somehow elegantly cute forms.

Even if it gave me the heeby jeebies, it was done well with an artist's eye, no denying that. It was cute in a scary sort of way.

"Wow, you're pretty good! You should show Ryan your work too." I called over my shoulder, "How about it Ryan? Wanna take a look at her artwork?"

I noticed that Marzia's hands hesitated over the keyboard, frozen as she stared at the computer screen. Ryan must have appeared interested, because he sat down his sketch book and came over.

"Sure." He replied cooly, hand placed on the back of Marzia's chair. I watched as she visibly jumped at his voice right behind her, cheeks turning pink.

"Y-you sure? I-it's not that good..." She said in a small voice, looking away as Ryan leaned closer to the screen to get a better look.

"Your style is interesting." Ryan murmured, looking intently at the creepy figures dancing still on the gallery, "Reminds me of Tim Burton, but with a cute girly angle."

"That's what I was going for." Marzia said in surprise, "I love Tim Burton's art style."

"It's good work. You have talent."

She looked down at her lap, her cheeks turning a darker shade of pink. "T-thank you."

I couldn't help but watch this exchange in interest, noticing how she lit up like a Christmas tree when Ryan complimented her. He didn't seem to be aware of how he was affecting her though, because the masked boy went back over to his seat in the corner and continued to draw in his sketchbook.

"Ah, that was so scary!" Marzia said, holding her hand to her heart. "I was so nervous.. my heart was going crazy! I'm happy he likes my work at least."

"Ryan is a man of his word. If he said he likes something, he means it."

Marzia smiled, looking at Ryan with fondness. "I know he is. It's why I like him so much."

The way she's holding herself, watching him with such gentleness and warmth... I knew then that she didn't just want to be friends with him. She was crushing on him, badly. I know it's irrational, but I couldn't help but feel a little.. annoyed, or something, at that.

It wasn't my place to tell her who she could or couldn't like, even with Ryan being the object of her affections. I just nodded and excused myself, going over to talk with my fellow geeks.

I couldn't pay much attention to the conversation though, because my focus kept drifting back to Ryan, glancing at him at every given opportunity. I know he was trying to make it go unnoticed, but I can tell he was doing the same. Was he drawing me again?

My attention went back to my one friend when he started up a conversation about Ryan in a panicked whisper, "I know ya said he's not as bad as he looks, but Felix he's still freakin' me out, lad!"

I rolled my eyes, "Seriously Jack, it's alright. You just gotta get to know him better is all."

"You just say that cause ya haven't heard all the rumors 'bout 'em. They're not all hot air ya know. I saw 'em kick some senior kids arses before, and he was just a wee freshman!"

My other newly made friend, Mark, casually slung his arm around Jack, grinning, "Come on, just give the guy a chance. Not all delinquents are bad guys. He must have his reasons."

"They're called 'delinquents' fer a reason, Merk."

The club consisted of 8 members altogether. Not as many as other clubs, there were more before the seniors graduated, but they still manage to run it. No freshman happened to be interested in the club, so they're desperate for members. Which leads to me helping them out.

There's Sean McLoughlin, AKA Jack, the Irish-american whose parents were Irish immigrants. He was born here, but he still has a bit of an Irish accent. He's a bit hot-tempered and skittish, but he does put on a tough front to bluff his way out of things. But he's so short and tiny, no one takes the Junior seriously, even if he's the club's treasurer. I don't know why everyone calls him Jack as a nickname.

Then there's Mark Fischbach, his closest friend and a Sophomore. He's not exactly on the tall side, though he looks like he regularly works out, so nobody wants to mess with him. I mean seriously he looks ripped, but from what he tells me he hasn't lifted a single weight in his life. Mark's actually a complete scardy-cat who puts on a tough-guy act. It actually works for him, unlike Jake. His parents were, I think, Korean descendants or something, I don't remember.

There's also Ken Morrison, the guy in my grade who asked me to join their club. He's pretty chill, and really hairy for a Junior. He's like a gigantic, friendly, cuddly bear that would hug someone to death. It doesn't surprise me that he's the vice president.

There's Minx, a geeky British girl whose popular with both guys and girls. But, unfortunately for those guys, the Senior is a complete lesbian and she isn't secretive about it either. She's way out there with her sexuality; very confident and tom-boyish, which isn't typical of a secretary in a club. I haven't met her that long ago, but I know the purple haired chick is hilarious. Minx is just a nickname though; her real name is Michelle Williams, but it makes her sound too girly, so she insists on the former.

Also Krism, Minx's hot-headed Junior girlfriend. Her real name is Krystal Aston, but she likes Krism. She's cool and all, but she has a really bad temper. If someone pisses her off, she is not afraid to yell at them for being stupid. Minx says it's cute, but I rather not date someone who regularly blows off steam by yelling their frustrations. She has a sense of humor at least.

Next, there's Anthony Padilla. He would have joined the comedy club, but he said he felt more at home around computers. You're allowed to join more than one club, but it gets difficult to juggle. Anthony is a funny guy, and he even makes skits with his best friend and posts them on the internet. A lot of girls tend to oggle him from what I noticed, but then when he's around his friend Ian, they tend to avoid him.

Ian Hecox is a funny guy too, and when they're together they make everything hilarious. He has this funny-looking bowl haircut, but he refuses to get rid of it for whatever reason. To each their own, I guess. Him and Anthony are childhood friends, so they tend to hang out with each other than others. People always call them gay, but they just take it in stride and act even gayer just to gross them. Probably why those girls avoid them when they're together.

And, last but not least, Stepthano Ricci; everyone just calls him Stephan or Steph though. He's an Italian foreign student who is pretty popular with everyone, especially with the girls. He's a senior, and the club president. Steph is really friendly, I hardly know the guy without a smile. He's chivalrous, whatever that means; I heard the girls sighing all dreamily about it. I guess they mean he's a nice guy and stuff, which he is. Seriously, he'd jump out a window to catch a baby bird falling out its nest.

If me and Ryan join them, we could really make progress and get to helping them out. I know I'm in, but that guy is a different story. I doubt he'd join without a lot of convincing and possibly a bribe.

"He's only as scary as you imagine him to be." Mark reasoned.

"Uhg, fine! I'll go talk to 'em!"

"That's the spirit little buddy!"

"Don't call me little." Jack grumbled, shuffling over to Ryan. "T-top of the morning to ya."

Ryan didn't even look up as he said, "Afternoon."

The response made Jack a bit nervous, shifting his feet. "T-the name's-"

"Jack. I know who you are."

"O-oh, really?"

Ryan hummed his answer, nodding as he kept his focus on his work.

"C-can I ask ya what ur drawin'?"

"You don't need to ask my permission to ask a question." Ryan said, finally looking up. "If you have something to say, just say it. Don't ask for permission like you're some kind of slave or dog awaiting its master's orders. Are you a slave?"

"Jackieboy be no slave, laddie! You best be rememberin' that."

I saw Ryan smile a little at the response, but it was such a tiny movement I doubt anyone else noticed. "Alright." Turning to face him, the masked boy showed him his latest drawing.

Well... I'm glad Ryan's opening up to someone, even if just a little. But, I feel kind of.. left out, I guess. It's nice to know he'll smile, even if a little, at anyone who's interesting to him. It's kind of upsetting, though that's kind of stupid to feel that way.

After, when Jack said, "Ur right, the fella's not a bad guy." I felt happy someone else wasn't scared of Ryan anymore unnecessarily.. but there's this feeling gnawing on me that won't go away. Why am I feeling so left out and upset over nothing?

* * *

On our way out of the meeting, Ryan said he had to stop by his locker for a moment and that I could go on ahead if I wanted.

"Nah bro, it shouldn't take long. I'll come with."

He didn't argue with me, which felt like a tiny victory I should pat myself on the back for accomplishing. It's not everyday that guy doesn't have some sort of disagreement with my "overly friendliness".

When opening his locker, I noticed a piece of paper fall out and onto the ground. "Oh, you dropped something. Here, let me-"

Before I could reach down to grab it, Ryan stepped on the folded paper with his foot, hastily grabbing his pencil case out of his locker before slamming it shut. Bending down, he quickly took the paper and unfolded it, reading it at an angle I couldn't see what was written.

"So, what does it say?"

Crumbling the note, Ryan tossed it into a recycling bin outside the nearest classroom, turning to me with a small smile. "Just a chain letter. I really hate those things."

"Oh, really? Those things still exist?"

His face may have been covered, but his lips were still turned upward a little as he said quietly, "Unfortunately. Come on, let's go home."

...

If I knew better then, I wouldn't have believed him.

 _ **/AN: We do not know how many chapters will be made. This story isn't no where near completion. And yes, we added in Stephano and other Youtubers./**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**/We apologize for the long wait. We seem to have misplaced the notes on this particular story. But we've worked on it regardless, and have finished writing a couple chapters, and wrote new chapter ideas. Enjoy.**_

 _ **Warning: Contains an event recollection that can 'trigger' certain people. If you are affected by the topic of child abuse or molestation, we encourage you NOT to read this story.**_

 _ **For those who are currently going through or know someone who is suffering from**_ **abuse** _ **\- or**_ **PTSD** _ **from this trauma-, we encourage you to**_ **SEEK HELP** _ **. It is a very sensitive subject that no one should go through. So please, seek help from a professional or speak with someone you trust.**_

Chapter 17- Death Threats

 _Ryan's Point of View:_

It's happening again.

As soon as I opened my locker to the many notes and letters crammed inside, I knew without looking what their contents read. I was glad I had taken that paper that escaped my locker. Felix didn't need to know this bit of detail of my life; he might blame himself, and I definitely didn't need that to happen.

The words "Die Faggot" was scrawled across the blank space in curvaceous letters, the black ink smudged on the right corner. These death threats are nothing new, but as of late they have been coming non-stop. The glares and quiet muttering when I was around weren't disguised as people looked at me in disgust and slight fear.

"So, what does it say?"

Panicking, I crumbled the paper and tossed it into the nearest trash can, hiding my feelings in a small smile. "Just a chain letter. I really hate those things."

"Oh, really? Those things still exist?"

I was glad my face was covered, making it easier to hide my relief that Felix actually believed me, murmuring, "Unfortunately. Come on, let's go home."

From my peripheral vision, I noticed someone peering around a corner, watching us with seething anger. It was that girl... what was her name, Gale? She's that one bully upperclassman's girlfriend, and she isn't any better than him. Like minds stick together, I suppose.

From what I've noticed, she isn't exactly the faithful type. She's constantly flirting with guys she finds attractive, using her "feminine charm" to win them over. She's had it out for me ever since I caught her giving a lesson on the female anatomy in the guy's bathroom to one of the new kids.

The guy certainly wasn't expecting her sweet demeanor to shift so quickly from sweet naughtiness to panic to nasty bitchiness, but nobody ever does. Gale has teachers and students alike wrapped around her finger with her perfect good girl facade; it makes me wonder how much effort she puts in to hide herself from people.

I don't know what she sees in her boyfriend; he's a complete joke who manipulates others with violence, including her. She's smart, she must see how staying with him isn't helping her mentality. I'll never understand why some girls choose to be with complete assholes.

..I guess, for someone like her, it can't be helped.

* * *

Laying in bed that night, my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of earlier. Felix had nearly begged to come over, but he must have noticed my no-nonsense attitude because he didn't push it, thankfully.

That girl, Gale, must despise my existence in her domain. If I hadn't let my guard down, she wouldn't have known it was me, and vise versa. But, she saw me without my mask, and she knew who I was.

I think it was that moment when her own guard was let down for a second, I noticed who this Queen Bee was. More, who she use to be, before the pressure of becoming 'other' pressed down on her.

We were in elementary together. She didn't recognize me at first when we met for the second time, though I can't blame her. I changed a lot too since then.

 ** _Flashback_**

 _I heard quiet sniffling and sobs coming from inside the janitor's closet. Opening the door, I found one of my classmate's curled up in the corner, big alligator tears rolling down her cheeks._

 _"U-um-"_

 _"Go away!" She cried, wrapping her arms protectively around herself. "Just leave me alone!"_

 _"A-are you okay?" I asked, concerned. "Are you hurt anywhere?"_

 _"I said to leave me alone." Her voice broke on the last word, eyes puffed in an angry red. She must have been crying for awhile, strands of orange-red hair clinging to her wet face._

 _I didn't know what to do, I've never been good at comforting people. So, I crawled over and sat curled up in the opposite corner, waiting._

 _After a long while, the girl's sobs began to quiet down as she tried to calm herself. Looking up, she froze when she saw me, glaring. "I told you to go away. I wanna be alone."_

 _"That's what you say now. But what about when I do leave?"_

 _This made her go quiet, eyes wide in surprise. Looking down at the ground, she muttered, "What d'you want?"_

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _"I'm fine."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Yes, I'm fine." She repeated with a huff, bratty-ness in her voice._

 _Looking at her designer jacket, frilly skirt and matching knee-length stalkings, I noted that she was well off. "Why were you crying?"_

 _"N-no reason."_

 _"That's not true. People don't cry cause of nothing."_

 _Her face was scrunched up in obvious hesitation, "...I can't tell you."_

 _"How come?"_

 _"Cause.. Daddy said I'm not suppose to tell anyone."_

 _"Well, I'm not anyone. I'm Cry."_

 _"Cry?" She gave me a strange look, "That's a weird name."_

 _"It's a nickname my friend gave me."_

 _"Oh." She looked down as she scuffed her polished black dress shoes on the floor, seeming not to care in the slightest, "I guess my nickname's 'Princess'. That's what my Daddy calls me."_

 _"That's a nice nickname."_

 _"I think so too."_

 _"When you're sad, it's good to tell someone. Like a friend or the nurse."_

 _"Why the nurse?" She asked in confusion, blowing a stubborn strand of hair out of her face._

 _"Cause she's nice."_

 _'Princess' didn't argue with me, noticing how she seemed to unconsciously clench her tiny fists and look away when saying, "I don't have any friends."_

 _"I didn't have any friends either. But now I have Sakura."_

 _"Your friend?"_

 _"Yeah. She's my best friend."_

 _She still seemed hesitant, but it was obvious Princess needed to tell someone, unwillingly giving in, "I-I'll tell you. But you gotta promise not to tell."_

 _"I promise."_

 _Looking around, as if to make sure people aren't around, she leaned in close and whispered, "Mommy found out about me and Daddy's secret game. Now she's mad at him."_

 _"Secret game?"_

 _"Yeah. Where we play grown-ups and do grown-up stuff."_

 _"How do you play? Is it like House?"_

 _She shook her head. "No, cause I'm me not mommy. You touch a lot, and it kinda tickles."_

 _This confused me. Touching, like hugging and stuff? I know Mama hugs me every day, but I'm sure Papa wouldn't have been angry about that. "Why is your mom mad?"_

 _"Cause Daddy said she's a jealous whore. But I'm his princess, and Daddy loves me."_

 _"O-oh." Surprised by the bad word slipping out of her mouth, I ignored it and asked, "But how come that made you cry?"_

 _"Cause now Mommy is sending Daddy away and I can't see him anymore." Bottom lip quivering, she looked like she was gonna start crying again. "I don't want Daddy to go, but Mommy won't listen to me. She said that Daddy is a bad man, but he isn't!"_

 _"Well... maybe your dad did something bad, but he isn't a bad person. Like when I took a candy bar from the store without paying. My mom brought us back and I had to apologize. She said that what I did was bad, but that I'm not bad."_

 _She appeared thoughtful at those words, saying quietly, "Maybe. I just don't like it."_

 _"Well, maybe he isn't going away forever. Just for a little while."_

 _The girl smiled happily, "Yeah! Mommy never said he was going away forever." Leaning forward, she hugged me tightly, "Thank you, Cry! I feel better now."_

 _"No problem." I said, awkwardly sitting there as this strange girl hugged me. I wasn't use to people doing that other than my mom and Sakura, so it felt weird._

 _At least she wasn't feeling sad anymore._

* * *

I didn't realize it at the time how significant her dilemma was, and how serious the problem actually was. I had learned the truth of that 'touching' game later when I was old enough to understand, and learned that her father had been sent to prison for child molestation.

The daughter had admitted to her father doing those kind of 'games' with her, and the evidence had been more than enough to get him locked up for a long time. She didn't even know that what they were doing was wrong.

The false hope I gave her was probably what makes her hate me so much now. Not to mention that I know the one thing she has kept a secret from the rest of the student body.

I know her secret. So she must be attempting to scare me off, away from the kingdom she rules over with a falsely kind, yet iron fist.

Question is, how am I going to solve this problem without her retaliating?

I sighed. Must everything be complicated?


End file.
